soundCHECK 16 – October 16th 2009

Last week saw my first foray into the music gaming world of Rock Band. For those unfamiliar with this, it’s a simple concept. You man a plastic instrument (drums, guitar, or bass) that is linked up to a games console. The game then dictates the appropriate buttons to press on the instrument at the right time in order to “play” the song.

I approached this challenge with a cocktail of curiosity, complete naivety, and assured confidence. “How hard can it be?” I thought.

The time that passed from assuredly donning my tiny weightless guitar to realising the full extent of my tragic inability was literally seconds. I was, in fact, really bad. I couldn’t even play a simple intro to a song I know inside out. And until I conquered it, my pretend band mates couldn’t enjoy maniacally smashing away at their buttons on their pretend instruments.

It didn’t help that my co-ordination was being held hostage by the burgeoning levels of alcohol in my bloodstream. I was letting myself down, and I was letting the band down. I felt terrible.

Then, a thought so heinous was aired that my disappointment immediately turned to terror. “What if no one bothers playing real instruments anymore? What if there are no more bands?” someone pondered.

What if he was right? What if we all turn into obsessed gamers who would sooner plug into an Xbox than an amp? A tsunami of local bands have left the area to go to uni recently – what if no one replaces them? What if this very column turns into a weekly Guitar Hero high-scores chart, then where would I be?

Nowhere near the top, that’s for sure.

My fears have been quelled somewhat as Bideford coughs up a new band in the shape of The New Veneers. They feature members of the cult and much-lauded Wenchface, the breakup of whom was also responsible for spawning Severe:Zero.

The two tracks on their MySpace are already attracting attention and exhibit a brazen, passionate, and fiercely melodic brand of rough-around-the-edges punk-rock. Their urgent delivery is highly promising and well worth a listen – myspace.com/thenewveneers. Catch their debut gig at The Riverfront on October 22nd.

But we still need more bands. And we still need more gigs. This is a call-to-arms. Lay down your plastic guitars and get in a real band.

soundCHECK 15 – October 8th 2009

You’ve probably heard by now that Noisettes are turning on the Christmas lights in Barnstaple this year. If not, then Noisettes are turning on the Christmas lights in Barnstaple this year. And I’ve just said the C word twice in the opening paragraph and it’s only October and that makes me want to abandon my notepad in favour of taking myself to a quiet place for a think about what I’ve done.

I hate the overeager anticipation and premature build up to the festive season. And it gets earlier every year. Soon we’ll become so farsighted in the run up to Christmas that we’ll be a full year ahead and order will be temporarily restored.

No matter – news is news. And this is good news. If Noisettes sound unfamiliar then they’re the band responsible for penning the adrenaline-soaked pop goliath Don’t Upset The Rhythm (Go Baby Go), which entered the singles chart at number 2.

They’ve also already played Glastonbury, T In The Park and V Festival this year, and have unleashed their second album to widespread critical acclaim.

Arguably, they’re the best band to have ever flicked the festive switch. 2007 saw Joss Stone struggle to stoke excitement, while last year found The Saturdays squeal their way through a set salvaged from tedium by the fact that one of them had a really nice coat.

It was with a genuine fear that I attended The Saturdays’ show. Weeks before, their street team had launched an online assault citing me as a misogynist after I penned a scathing review of one of their singles.

Thankfully, said street team were not in attendance (perhaps they were instead questioning the worth of their unrewarded allegiance to a money-spinning pop behemoth) and I escaped with my life.

Anyway, Noisettes fit the bill for the Christmas revelries perfectly. They match indie credibility with an FM-friendly pop sheen polished enough to be digested by all.

For a rundown of the local bands playing with Noisettes, visit my blog on the Journal website.

And, for the record, I’m not a misogynist. I just don’t like The Saturdays. Further, I’m quite sure that at least 50% of female readers would agree that, regardless of their pop success, The Saturdays cut a questionable blueprint for what it is to be a woman. Right sisters? Although I do like the one with the nice coat.