soundCHECK 29 – March 25th 2010

So Becks in injured. His hopes of World Cup glory quashed.

And with that comes confirmation that, as well the media, the football Gods are determined to dash any chance of us bringing home the World Cup in the summer.

Poor old Mr. Beckham was one of the few in the England team unfettered by the musty stench of indiscretion. Without the gleaming tutelage of old Golden Balls many would have it that our national football team are but a bunch of injury-prone, moralistically bereft savages with jam for brains.

But they are not. They are the glue that will unite our nation this summer. William Hill have placed teasing 5/1 odds on their chances of winning the tournament. But that’s better than the chances of rolling a six when you need to evade Park Lane, Super Tax, and Mayfair to land on Pass Go. I’ll take that.

And far be it from me to provide a commentary (for those of you who are regular readers I fear you must occasionally acquiesce with my love for the beautiful game), but I won’t hear of any negativity. I love the England team with all of my heart, which skips a beat when I think about what lies ahead in the summer. They have my unconditional support.

It would seem Jonny : Black would concur. For those gargantuan riff making colon-lovers have gone and made a World Cup song!

“You’ve come this far / All you lions to Africa” it parps over the towering guitars and airtight drums that define them. The song is called ‘Stand Up’ and was recorded at Livingston Studios. It has samples of crowd cheers and everything. It’s like Pro Evo meets Guns ‘n’ Roses. And there ain’t no harm in that.

Especially with such call-to-arms lyrics as “We’re gonna be there for you / Right to the end” and “Stand up for your heroes”. Too right! May it be bellowed from the rooftops of North Devon as we bask in the twin-sun rays of World Cup glory. You can hear it and watch its video at Go and do it now.

My enduring fear is that our chances of winning the World Cup will implode as John Terry’s rapacious lady-appetite refuses to be quelled. And seeing as he has form when it comes to copping off with the ex-squeeze of his Left Back, I’d say pop princess Cheryl Cole could be in line for a fling that won’t even be worth having, let alone fighting for.

What odds on that sordid romance, William Hill?


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